VietNamNet Bridge
Jan. 19th, 2010

Why do many young people nowadays fail to respect their elders, a long-held tradition among Vietnamese people? Why do they never exchange greetings? Why are some becoming dishonest and selfish? Tuoi Tre looks for answers.

Study manners first, then reading and writing

N.V Hung, 70, feels sad about the way his grandson has been raised.

“Last month I came to HCM City to visit my son. Nam, my grandson, was unfamiliar to me,” he began.

“When he came home, his mother came to welcome him and he said ‘Hello, mama’ in English,” Hung detailed. “She kissed him on the cheek and he went directly to his own room. He ignored me, his grandfather, standing next to his mother.”

He complained that “Even if he did not miss his grandfather, because he had not seen him for some years, he should have greeted me as I stood next to his mother.”

After dinner, the boy turned on the TV and watched cartoons. He did not think that he needed to talk with his grandfather.

“Even when I tried to talk to him, offering gifts I brought from the countryside, he still looked at me as a stranger and he spoke in both Vietnamese and English, which I could not understand,” Hung added.

His daughter-in-law explained that her son was studying at an international school that aims to help students integrate easily into the world and does not focus on teaching Vietnamese traditions.

Nguyen Thu Huong, 40, lives in HCM City and decided to take her daughter out of an international school to study at a Vietnamese school.

Huong and her husband once studied in Europe, so they both wanted their daughter to study at an international school.

She explained that after just one year of studying at the school, her daughter had become quite a strange. She has become so self-confident that she thinks she knows everything better than other people.

“She has become especially selfish,” Huong revealed. “She thinks about herself first, and she never thinks that she needs to give her due to her younger sister.”

“I made some recommendations to the school about their education method,” she added. “And I was told that the students of the school are international students, who come from different cultures, not Vietnamese students.”

Heavy teaching load

A primary school teacher in HCM City noted that only one of many students said “thank you” to the cafeteria worker when they received their meals.

“There is a Vietnamese saying ‘Study manners first and then learn to read and write,’ she quoted. “However, schools do not focus on teaching manners, partly because of the teaching loads are too heavy.”

T.T, another HCM City primary school teacher, reported that many students do not greet teachers and elders, and give curt answers when questioned.

“Morality lessons prove to be impractical,” T. observed. “Students do not have enough time to learn good manners and behavior because they have to learn about the United Nations and solidarity with international children.”

A teacher at Dong Da School in Hanoi also blames the problem on the heavy curriculum. “We do not have time to teach behavior to students, we just have enough time to give scientific knowledge,” she admitted.

Professor Phan Dinh Dieu, representing one of the four groups of authors who advocate educational reform, believes that it is necessary to reduce the volume of scientific knowledge in order to have time to teach traditional culture.

“Let’s give students lessons about Vietnam’s soul, Vietnamese personality, and behavioral skills that are necessary for a modern society,” Dieu asserted.